


Akiba-99!

by FatherFigureFusion



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!, ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)
Genre: B99 Scene Parodies, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatherFigureFusion/pseuds/FatherFigureFusion
Summary: The premise is quite simple! If you want to read about the Love Live girls doing B99 skits, then do I have a fanfiction for you!
Relationships: Hoshizora Rin & Koizumi Hanayo, Kunikida Hanamaru & Kurosawa Dia & Matsuura Kanan, Kurosawa Dia/Matsuura Kanan, Miyashita Ai & Tennouji Rina, Nakasu Kasumi/Ousaka Shizuku
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Akiba-99! School Police Department!

Rin: (in front of a police line up) So, Kayochin! Do you recognize any of these girls as the rice thief?

Hanayo: (close to tears) A-After slapping my gl-glasses off, they r-ran into the bathroom to finish off my rice ball. B-But I did hear her! She was singing along to one of our songs!

Rin: Do you remember what she was singing?

Hanayo: (brightening up) That I know! It was "Snow Halation"!

Rin: A-meow-zing! One of my personal favorites!

Rin: (activating the microphone) No. 1! Could you please sing the main chorus of "Snow Halation"?

Maki: (blushing) What the heck? Such nonsense!

Rin: (smugly) Bet you can't, nya!

Maki: Grrr! Fine!

Maki: (singing) Todokete setsunasa ni wa!

Rin: (activating the microphone) No. 2! Keep it going!

Nozomi: (singing) Namae o tsukeyou ka, "Snow Halation"!

Rin: No. 3!

Honoka: (singing) Omoi ga kasanaru made!

Rin: (getting into it) No. 4!

Eli: (singing) Matezu ni! Kuyashii kedo suki tte junjou!

Rin: (singing along) Binetsu no naka!

The Lineup: (singing in unison) Tameratte mo dame da ne!

Rin: (to the tune of the final part) Now it is your turn, No. 5!

Nico: (happy) Finally! Mamonaku START!

Rin: Whoo! Chills! Chills! Literal chills! Y'know, because snow!

Hanayo: (serious) It was No. 5. No. 5 stole and ate my rice!

Rin: Oh, nyo! I totally forgot about that!

Everyone But Nico: (glaring at Nico)

Nico: (awkwardly) Uhh.....Nico Nico Nii!

(From that point onward, Nico knew never to get in between the cinnamon roll and her rice ball. She learned her lesson well before she suffered a group washi washi!)


	2. Akiba-99! Sunshine!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dia and Kanan have gotten into an argument regarding Hanayo's screentime. This has left Dia in a bad mood. Hanamaru and Mari are both trying to help, but in different ways.

Dia: (walks into the library)

Hanamaru: Ah! Good morning, Dia!

Dia: (angrily) Buu buu desu wa! I haven't slept, because I've been going over that stupid argument, and now I finally understand Kanan's side.

Mari: Buona! So it's all better and I never have to hear about Hanayo again?

Dia: Buu buu desu wa! I know better than ever how incorrect she is!

(Flashback)

Dia: Seriously? Do I have to teach you college-level character development?

Kanan: I don't know. Do I have to teach you highschool-level character development?

Dia: Do I have to teach you 8th-grade level character development?

Kanan: Do I have to teach you 7th-grade level character development?

(END OF FLASHBACK)

Dia: Now if you excuse me, you two, I have to write and send her a snide song about kindergarten-level character development. (leaves)

Hanamaru: Okay, Mari! We have got to explain this thing to Dia in order to save their relationship! And you thought it was a joke when I binge watched the entirety of School Idol Project!

Mari: Because you screamed "Mirai, zura!" upon seeing a television for the first time.

Hanamaru: Of course! And one of the greatest things to come out of the future!

Mari: (under her breath) For you, perhaps. Anyway, it's not about Hanayo. They just haven't seen each other due to Dia's student council duties. They just need to bone.

Hanamaru: (grossed out) Zura?! What?! Gross, Mari! Those are my moms!

Hanamaru: (realizes what she just said) I-I mean-That's not what I think, zura! Mama-senpai is just my Dia, zura!

Mari: Wow~

Hanamaru: (blushing) N-Never mind! I'm teaching Mama about Hanayo!

Mari: (:3)

Hanamaru: WHATEVER, MARI! (walks away in a huff)

(THE NEXT DAY)

Hanamaru: (trying to grab something off of a high shelf)

Dia: (walks in) May I help you, Maru?

Hanamaru: N-No! I'm just trying to find a book.

Dia: Allow me to help! What's the title?

Hanamaru: Actually, (pulls out a stack of papers and hands them to Dia) I think I've got it! Read it, Dia!

Dia: (flips through the pages) "EVERYTHING ABOUT HANAYO KOIZUMI"?! Are you trying to add to the fire?!

Hanamaru: (scared) N-No, zura!

Dia: (frustrated) Unbelievable! I don't need Hanayo Koizumi ruining my school life, when Hanayo Koizumi has already ruined my home life!

Mari: Come on, Dia. Hanayo's screentime isn't the problem. Your student council duties are keeping you and Kanan apart. You two just need to bone.

Hanamaru: (scared) ZURA!

Dia: What did you say?!

Hanamaru: (whispering, to Mari) Don't say it again.

Mari: (ignoring Maru) I said you two need to bone.

Hanamaru: (covering her ears)

Dia: (rising fury) Hoooow.....DARE you, MARI OHARA! I AM THE! STUDENT COUNCIL! PRESIDENT!

(5 MINUTES LATER)

Dia: (screaming from the doorway) BONE!

(10 MINUTES LATER)

Dia: (to Mari) What happens in my bedroom, Miss Mari, is NONE of your business!

(20 MINUTES LATER)

Dia: (screaming and jumping in the doorway) BOOOOOOOONE!

(40 MINUTES LATER)

Dia: Don't EVER speak to me like that again!

Hanamaru: (uncovering her ears) Why did you do that?

Mari: Girl was pent up. Now she knows! Problem solved!

Hanamaru: (sadly sighing)

(THE NEXT DAY)

Dia: (enters the library)

Hanamaru: Dia! I know you don't want to talk about screentime, but I did research some "four-umms"-

Dia: (happily) No need, Maru-chan! It's all good!

Hanamaru: (happily) So your fight with Kanan is over?

Dia: Yep!

Hanamaru: Because you know everything about Ha-

Dia: BUU BUU!

Mari: Because you two-

Dia: Yep!

Mari: Knew it! See, what happened is your moms ate each other's par-

Hanamaru: (frustrated) OKAY ZURA!


	3. Akiba-99! Nijigasaki Police Department!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What probably goes on in the clubroom when Rina isn't around...

(In the clubroom....) 

Kasumi: Alright, ladies! We have been gathered here to answer an age-old question!

Ai: (with a crap-eating grin) Yeah! What's Shizuku's deal? Is she single?

Kasumi: (blushing) What?! No! We're dating!

Ai: (still has the grin on her face)

Kasumi: (getting back on track) A-Anyway! The question is "Who here does the best impression of the Masked Idol, Rina Tennoji?" You will be judged on voice, body language, and overall lack of flair! Everyone will be performing the same scenario!

Kasumi: (holding out a bowl of marshmallows) Little Rinari eating a marshmallow for the very first time! Let the Rina-Off begin!

Setsuna: (examining the marshmallow, in a flat voice) What is this glutenous monstrosity in front of me?

Karin: (nibbling one, with a poker face) The sugar in this is quite sweet.

Ai: (puts a marshmallow in her mouth, and lets out a muffled and adorable giggle)

Kasumi: (unimpressed) Really?! That's your Rina-chan impression?

Ai: I can totes see Rinari doing that!

Kanata: (in a flat voice) Looks like a sticky pillow.

Kasumi: (with a stoic inflection) I do not care for it. Rina-Chan board: "B("

Rina: (entering the clubroom) Hey. What are you doing?

Kasumi: Oh, uhhh....We were just eating marshmallows!

Kasumi: (handing Rina the plate of marshmallows) Want one?

Rina: (taking the marshmallow, intrigued) Hmm....."marshed-mallow"

Rina: (eats it, and lets out a high-pitched squeal and giggle)

Ai: (punching the table, happily) I KNEW IT!


	4. Akiba-99! School Police Department! (2)

(In the Idol Research Room...)

Maki: (interrogating Honoka) So what you're trying to say is that you've stuck to the studying regiment that we gave you, which is why you've got a mere 27 on your math test?

Honoka: (awkwardly giggling) Well, yeah! If you say it like that, it doesn't sound believable.

Nozomi/Eli: (entering the Idol Research Room)

Maki: Oh, Nozomi! 

Nozomi: Oh! Hey, Maki-chan! Nice work on that new song!

Maki: Hmph. Whatever. Thanks, mom.

The Rest of Muse: (stopping what they're doing to stare at Maki)

Maki: (nervous) ...W-Why is everybody staring at me?

Eli: You just called Nozomi "mom". You said "Thanks, Mom!"

Maki: (blushing) WHAT?! No, I didn't! I said "Thanks, Nozomi!"

Nozomi: (smirking) Aww...Do you see me as a mother figure, Maki-chan?

Maki: (angrily turning away) NO! If anything, I see you as a smother figure! Because you're always smothering me!

Umi: (sternly) HEY! Show your mother some respect!

Maki: (angrily blushing) I DIDN'T CALL HER "MOM"! 

Nozomi: (touched) No, no, no, no! Maki-chan! I take it as a compliment!

Rin: Yeah! It's not a big deal! I called Kayo-chin "Mom" once, and she's my best friend!

Hanayo: (blushing in embarrassment) Rin-chan!

Maki: (pointing at Rin) Guys! Jump on that! Rin is an idiot!

Rin: (sadly slumps down)

Nico: (rolling her eyes) Old news! But you calling Nozomi "Mommy"-

Maki: (blushing at Nico's implications) HEY! "Mommy" is not on the table here!

Honoka: But, uh, you did call her "Mom", Maki-chan.

Maki: (glaring at Honoka) You shut up! You lying is why we're having this meeting in the first place!

Honoka: (shrugging) Okay, I was lying about studying. But the "Mom" thing? That happened! 

Maki: (standing up and pointing at Honoka) A-HA! She admitted that she hasn't been studying! It was a trap! All part of my crazy, devious plan!

Nozomi: (smiling softly) I believe you...

Maki: (proudly) Thank you!

Nozomi: (slightly smirking) Daughter of mine!

Maki: (blushing and pouting)

Nozomi: (holds up the sheet music with a smile on her face) Wanna talk about it later while we finish up the song?

Maki: (blushing and turning towards Nozomi, under her breath) I'd like that...


	5. Akiba-99! Sunshine! (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Chika proved to Dia that she is a worthy leader for Aqours!

(In the student council room...)

(Dia: (authoritatively) Are you sure you could handle being the leader? How could you be so sure you won't mess it up like always?

Chika: Because I know all about my friends!

Dia: You couldn't be a good leader if you don't expect your followers to surprise you.

Chika: Don't believe me, huh? Watch this! I know what everybody will do today!

Chika: (pointing to the first years) It's Thursday, so the first years will go to the Kazuno household right after school, and have Sarah and Leah teach them new dance moves! And Hanamaru and Yoshiko will find new ways to make Ruby confess her feelings to Leah!

Dia: (angry) Wait, WHAT?!

Chika: (pointing to Mari) Mari will shirk looking over the daily budget and go purchase an entire ice cream company or something.

Chika: (pointing to Riko) Riko will come up with brand-new ways to avoid Shiitake the next time she comes over to my house.

Riko: (spraying herself with anti-chewing spray) This better work like the advertisement said it would!

Chika: And if You and I run and leap at Kanan, she will most certainly catch us in her arms!

Kanan: (enters the student council room drinking from a water bottle)

Chika/You: (running towards Kanan) COMING IN!

Kanan: (panicking) WAIT, NO! I'M HOLDING WATER!

Kanan: (drops her water bottle on the floor to catch Chika and You in each arm)


End file.
